Say Again Your Last
by kenyancougar
Summary: "Man down!" "Fallen Eagle!" What happens when Bravo ends up on a mission from hell. Missing moments from the episode "Say Again Your Last". *Disclaimer – I do not own SEAL Team*
1. Say Again Your Last

**Chapter 1: Shake It Off**

Clay ducked behind the truck as bullets reigned down around him. Sucking in a deep breath, he drew upon his training to get a handle on his heart rate, understanding the need to be in control if he were going to take out the sniper trying to kill him and his brothers. Blowing out a quick breath, Clay lifted his rifle and using his scope began to sight the sniper.

The impact threw him on his back, blackness surrounding him.

"Clay?" Fear gripped Ray as Spenser fell. "Clay!" With Bravo covering them, Ray dragged Clay to the truck and leaned him against the side for cover. "Man down."

Sonny growled as he maintained firing at the building across the street. _You don't get to shoot the Kid and live._ He prayed Clay would be alright.

A peek through the windows, and glass shattering around him told Ray he needed to find a better spot for the shot. Shifting to the bed of the truck, keeping low, he swiftly sighted the sniper and released a round. A sigh of relief escaped when the pink mist enveloped the man's head and he went down and the bullets coming their way ended.

"Clay? Clay!" Ray moved back to the kid's side to check for a pulse. His stomach dropped when Clay listed to the side.

Trent surged forward, helping Ray lift Clay from the ground and pull him back into the alley. Running through all the possible injuries Clay could have sustained. Cerberus and Brock took point. All were cognizant of the four-minute window for Clay and quickly searched for a safe space to assess him and regroup.

"Get him into cover," Adam instructed as he closed the door behind them

"Bravo One, this is HAVOC. Sitrep. Your advancement to the university seems to have stopped." Blackburn's voice over the radio demanding Adam's attention.

"HAVOC, this is Bravo One. Man down, how copy?"

"Copy Bravo One, standing by." Blackburn blew out a long breath as Davis and Mandy eyed him. They observed the situation unfolding on the ground from the feed, but the words 'man down' made their hearts skip a beat as they worried who was injured.

Ray lay Spenser on the ground and shoved a hand under the kid's armor, searching for where the bullet impacted. Not finding an entry wound relieved him only slightly. He turned to Trent. "He took a round directly to his chest plate. No entry or exit wound. Didn't penetrate. Got a pulse but he's not breathing."

"Alright, impact must have paralyzed his respiratory system." Trent dropped to a knee beside Clay with an epi-pen in hand. _Hopefully, this works._ He injected the adrenaline into Clay's chest then rubbed his sternum trying to get a response.

The tension hung thick in the air as they waited for the adrenaline to kick in. Trent continued his ministrations until Clay sucked in a breath, coughed, and his eyes shot open. Relief surged through all of Bravo at the sound.

Trent sighed in relief. "Let's get him up."

Clay's eyes opened as he sucked in air, his chest on fire.

"At least we know his body armor is not made in China," Sonny quipped, more relieved than he wanted to admit that Clay was alive.

"Alright, yes or no questions only." Trent shone a light at Clay, keeping a close eye on the youngest team member. "Are you in Virginia Beach?"

In a world of pain, still trying to gain his breath back all Clay could manage was a slight shake of his head.

"Are you in India?"

This time he nodded yes. _Man, breathing hurts._

"Am I better looking than Sonny?"

Clay's eyes sought out Trent's and he couldn't help the grin and slight laugh at the thought.

"He's fine."

"Goldilocks is obviously concussed." Sonny's serious response to Clay's answer brought comical relief to the team. _Glad he's alright._

"Bravo One, this is HAVOC. Give me a sitrep. Students aren't going to be able to hide forever." The tension in the embassy rose with each passing moment, not knowing who was injured or how badly. Blackburn hated pushing the men with one down, but they had civilians in imminent danger.

"We're all up, HAVOC. Bravo Two took a round to the body armor. He's ambulatory. We are Charlie Mike." Adam relayed that Clay was good to continue the mission. "Any new information on the student's location?"

Clay barely heard the conversation between Adam and TOC as he fought to regain his breath. After Ray helped him up, he slid his hand under his armor as another wave of pain coursed through his chest. Bending over he winced, fighting the urge to stop breathing if only to ease the pain. Still struggling for breath, he raised his hands over his head, noting Trent's watchful eye on him.

Ray continued to watch Clay, ensuring he wouldn't fall over from shortness of breath, while Adam got an update from Blackburn and Ellis. When it appeared the mission would proceed as planned, he passed Clay his rifle. Squeezing Clay's shoulder once he gave him a slight nod. _You can do this, kid._

Clay accepted the weapon and looked it over. His breaths still rapid and his heart racing from the additional epinephrine he silently prayed he wouldn't be a burden to his team.

"Clay, you stay close to me. Ray, you're on point. The rest of you, fall in to patrol order." Adam approached Clay. "How you feeling?"

"Uh …" Two more shaky breaths in. "Like the weakest link. Like I slowed us down."

"I'd rather lose a little time than my 2IC. Shake it off."

"Not so easy." Clay resisted the urge to return his hand to his chest where he was sure spectacular bruising was forming. He still struggled to get his breathing under control.

"Not so hard." Adam eyed him as his instructor's voice came out. "Shake. It. Off."

"Roger." Clay lifted his rifle and prepared to follow the guys. Pain flared in his chest from the movement, but he pushed it down. Intent on following orders and rescuing the hostages.

Moving down the street towards the University, Bravo was on high alert. More so after Clay being shot. No one wanted a repeat performance.

When TOC indicated forces headed their direction Adam instructed two on point as they prepared to defend themselves. All shifted behind cover when the bullets started flying.

Clay was focused on the gunfire in front of him when he heard Adam's yell. Adam's movement to the back of the group to change his clip didn't even phase him. What did catch his attention, however, was Adam's yell."

"S vest!" Unable to reload in time to kill the suicide bomber, Adam ran for the man. Protecting Bravo his only mission, he tackled the man.

Clay watched in horror as Adam launched himself at the man with the suicide vest. The explosives exposed on his chest. Turning to run for Adam the force of the blast staggered him back a few paces. Adam's body, engulfed in flames, was thrown from the man. Clay's breath caught with a different kind of pain as he made his way to Adam.

When the last of the insurgents fell, Bravo turned towards the direction of the explosion. Noting Clay stood frozen in place, his gaze transfixed on Adam's charred body.

"Bravo One, this is HAVOC. What did we just see?"

Ray ran past Clay, his heart racing after the explosion. "What happened?"

"Um … Adam ... he, uh … he just …" Clay couldn't speak, he couldn't breathe, he didn't even know if his heart was still beating in his chest.

Ray knelt beside Adam and searched for a pulse, his gut already telling him he would find none.

Davis and Ellis watched with bated breath as Blackburn kept calling for a sitrep from Bravo One. The screen showed the guys gathered, but no one answered.

"Adam's gone."

Ray's words plowed into Clay as if he had been hit by a semi.

When TOC called for a response again Trent looked to their second in command. His voice soft as his mind caught up to Ray's declaration. "Clay, answer."

Clay recognized everyone looked to him. He was 2IC, leading the team now fell to him. But instead of speaking, his eyes shifted back to Adam. Barely able to breath much less speak.

Blackburn began pacing. With no response and only the live feed to go on, they had no idea what just happened. He was relieved when he heard Ray's voice over the comms.

Recognizing no one else was able to respond, all at a loss for words, Ray stepped up. "HAVOC, this is Bravo Six. We read you Lima Charlie. I pass Fallen Eagle."

Davis' heart skipped a beat. _No, this can't be happening._

Blackburn noted the room descended into silence at Ray's words. "Bravo Six, say again your last." _Please let me have heard him wrong._

"Six to base, I say again, fallen eagle. We lost Bravo One."

Mandy dropped to her seat and covered her eyes, forcing herself to keep her tears at bay.

Lisa immediately began searching for a way to get the boys out while Blackburn spoke with Ray.

Clay could only stand and watch. Hearing the conversation between TOC and Ray as he forced himself to breathe, his chest aching with every inhale and exhale. He glared at Ray and Sonny when they suggested they leave Adam and move on to the University. "I'm not leaving Adam."

Ray stood and faced Clay, noting the blank expression on his face. "Adam's not here."

"THEN I'M STAYING!" The words yelled at Ray took all his breath away and he winced at the pain in his ribs.

"Clay, you staying here is not an option, okay. It's either we all stay or not." Ray forced his voice to remain calm despite the emotions fighting their way out. He grabbed the front of Clay's vest to force the kid to look at him. "Now let me tell you something. As hard as this decision is, Adam would have made the same damned one because he knows those kids need us more than he needs us."

Clay swallowed hard and peered down. Even Ray shaking him couldn't tear his attention away from his friend.

"Hey. We'll be back." When Clay didn't acknowledge his words tried again. "Look at me! We will be back."

Forcing himself to acknowledge the truth in Ray's words, Clay nodded. Still not liking leaving Adam here alone, but understanding they needed to complete the mission.

"HAVOC, this is Bravo Six. That's a negative on the CASEVAC. We are Charlie Mike to the university."

Trent, Ray, and Clay made quick work of shifting Adam's body to some cover. They rigged a tarp to cover him and disguise the fact a body lay beneath.

Recognizing the of the signs of shock, and realizing that time was their enemy and not a luxury, Ray discerned Clay's frame of mind was in no position to take over command and began issuing orders. "Trent, on point. Sonny, take rear security. Let's move out."

Noting Clay's state, Sonny stopped in front of him and grasped his arm. "Hey, now ain't the time to mourn. Time for payback, alright. Let's go."

Clay stared at the tarp for a long moment, hating leaving a brother here alone. Sucking in another deep, painful breath Clay forced himself to move out. _They're going to pay for this._

Bravo moved through the streets of Mumbai at a quick pace, understanding the longer it took them to arrive at the university, the less chance the students would have at survival.

Keeping pace with the rest of the guys, Clay forced himself not to give in to the urge to stop and curl up into a ball. His chest burned with every breath, and his hands tremored slightly with the adrenaline coursing through him. He was relieved when they passed through the rear entrance to the university and found the Indian military waiting for them, even if they had weapons pointed at them to begin with.

After meeting up with the lieutenant in charge, they spread the blueprints to the building on the hood of a truck and began to formulate a tactical plan. Forcing his mind to engage, Clay started at the map.

"The main entrance, is it a lobby or an atrium?" Ray asked, searching for their entry point.

"Both", the answer received.

"Let's not go that way." Sonny voiced what all were thinking.

"The side entrance right here." Clay pointed to the location on the plans. "Is it locked?"

"It's an emergency exit. It shouldn't be."

"Check. We're headed there." Ray was relieved Clay seemed to get his head back in the game. Spenser was a heck of an operator and they needed him present. "Trent, on point."

"I got it."

Clay's statement drew the attention of every member of Bravo. Each wondering what the kid was thinking.

"You took a round to the chest, brother." Ray understood Clay's decision but needed to ensure he was good to go.

"I shook it off." Clay met Ray's gaze, determination in his eyes.

"Alright."

Moving to their entry point, Clay forced his mind back into mission mode, pushing down the pain that came with each breath, and the emotional pain of losing Adam. As he reached for the door handle it swung open and a blur rushed past him. When a young woman almost collided with Ray, they moved back to learn if she had any useful information.

Trent checked the woman's arm and rigged a temporary sling while she relayed what she knew. Giving the team the details she could. Unable to remember where the study lounge was, Brock instructed Cerb to jump up and catch her scent.

Upon entry, Cerberus led the team through the library and straight to the lounge where they found thirteen students, eight American and five others, huddled in fear. As Sonny spoke to the group, Clay leaned against the wall, the pain in his chest shouting at him.

"Bravo Six to HAVOC base. Preparing to extract the students." Ray joined Clay at the front of the group before they entered the stairway. "Bravo Six to HAVOC, we are Charlie Mike."

When they reached the bottom of the stairwell Clay pushed up against the wall, the muzzle of his rifle pointing into the main room of the library "Movement." He whispered to the team. "I've got tangos between us and our exit point."

"Trent, take the high ground. Kairos, keep them in the stairway. Hold security." Ray instructed.

The guys, trained to react to orders instantly, moved to gain their positions.

"Way too many places for them to hide out there. We need an advantage." Clay kept his focus on the men between them and the door as Ray spoke with HAVOC, asking them to turn the lights out.

When the room went dark, Clay and Ray led the way into the library. They moved systematically through the room eliminating targets.

Turning a corner they encountered a man who began firing at them. As Clay squeezed the trigger on his rifle, sending the man to the ground, pain flared in his right bicep and he grunted. Filing the pain away with that from his chest, Clay kept moving. Only pausing when the room was clear and the lights came back on.

"That's payback." Sonny peered at his teammates, each giving a nod in return. When his eyes landed on Spenser he groaned. "Hey, kid. You're hit."

"What?" Clay's brows furrowed, only remembering the pain in his arm when Sonny grasped it. "Must have gotten clipped clipped."

Trent jogged down the stairs and immediately approached Clay and inspected the wound. "Through and through. Will need a few stitches to close it up but you should be fine."

"There are ambulances waiting outside." Brock let out a slow breath.

Ray nodded and led the way. _First Clay took a round to the vest, then Adam killed, and now Clay is shot again. I just want this mission over so we can go home._

Once outside Trent guided Clay to one of the ambulances, explained the situation, and kept an eye on the paramedics as they cleaned and closed Clay's wound. Ray stood nearby and checked in with Blackburn.

"HAVOC base, this is Bravo Six. The students are en route to your position along with local partner force. Where is our ride to Bravo One?" Ray's eyes met Clay's as he waited for an answer.

"Trying to get you one, Bravo Six. Could take a beat." Davis wished transport was waiting on them, but the situation in the city proved a challenge.

Blackburn paced. Although Bravo was safe, they were not back yet.

"Whoa, what's that supposed to mean?" Clay pushed up from the bumper of the ambulance as the medic attempted to wrap his wound.

"Hey, Clay. I got this." Ray placed a hand on Clay's left shoulder and pushed him back down so the EMT could finish his job. "

Clay listened in as Ray and Blackburn spoke. When it was evident they weren't getting a ride anytime soon, and Ray accepted the answer, his blood began to boil. After exchanging a few heated words with Ray he found a truck, climbed in, and started the engine.

Unable to allow Clay to leave on his own, and desiring to ensure Adam returned home to his family, Ray motioned for the guys to load up. The ride to Adam was spent in silence. They were taking Adam home with them.

* * *

Clay wound the strap and lay it to the side on the floor of the jet. The flag-draped-casket to his right driving home the loss of a teacher, mentor, and friend. _If only I hadn't slowed us down._ Ray's words to the contrary did little to ease his guilt. Part of the SEAL creed ran through his head, the words Sonny spoke over Adam on the flight … he struggled for breath.

 _My Nation expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my enemies. If knocked down, I will get back up, every time. I will draw on every remaining ounce of strength to protect my teammates and to accomplish our mission. I am never out of the fight._

 _We demand discipline. We expect innovation. The lives of my teammates and the success of our mission depend on me … My training is never complete._

 _We train for war and fight to win. I stand ready to bring the full spectrum of combat power to bear in order to achieve my mission and the goals established by my country. The execution of my duties will be swift and violent when required yet guided by the very principles that I serve to defend._

 _Brave men have fought and died building the proud tradition and feared reputation that I am bound to uphold. In the worst of conditions, the legacy of my teammates steadies my resolve and silently guides my every deed. I will not fail._

 _One hand on the handle of the casket, Clay looked to the opening in the jet. A lone silhouette growing larger as the sun streamed in behind him. As the figure drew closer Clay rose, recognizing Jason as he approached. The expression on his face, and the glistening in his eyes conveying to the team his deep ache at the loss of Adam._

 _When Jason stopped in front of Bravo, his eyes lowering to the casket, his heart clenched. They returned home, but not whole … because of him. Blowing out a breath he stepped forward, thankful Kairos stepped away and Ray shifted back, allowing him to help bear their burden._

 _Clay grasped the handle and lifted with the rest of Bravo. His chest screamed at him, but he ignored it. Instead focusing on the task before him. Marching off the jet with his brothers, Clay managed to assist in moving Adam to the transport awaiting him._

When the truck pulled away Clay swallowed hard, the pain in his chest overwhelming and his arm throbbing with each beat of his heart. He gasped for air.

Jason heard Clay's labored breathing and turned in time to watch the kid collapse, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. Catching him before impact, Jason lowered Spenser to the ground. "What the hell?"

Trent dropped to their side, reaching to check Clay's pulse. "Took around to the chest. Body armor caught it, but he's bruised pretty badly. Then took a round through the arm. His body must have just given out on him."

"Get medical out here pronto!" Jason ordered.

Ray knelt beside Jason. "He thinks Adam's death is his fault. Clay went down, and shortly after Adam. Kid thinks if he had been up to par Adam would still be with us."

"It's not his fault any more than it's mine for not being there."

"You needed to be home with your family. We all understand that. Jas, don't put this on your shoulders. It was Adam's time."

Jason met Ray's gaze and held it for a moment, nodding once before peering down at Spenser. "Kid gonna be alright?"

"Once he wakes up he should be good to go home unless something broke and shifted. Should just need rest." Trent looked up at the sound of approaching vehicles.

Jason assisted the medics in lifting Clay to the gurney. As they loaded him for the short ride to the base hospital, Jason turned to the rest of Bravo. "Go home, see your family, rest. I'll stay with Clay and make sure he gets home."

Even as the words crossed his lips he knew the guys would not be going anywhere until they had an answer about Clay. As one they headed for the base hospital to await word on the youngest member of Bravo.

* * *

 **AN: I just couldn't leave the last episode alone! Anyway, I would love to hear if you enjoyed the story in a review.**


	2. Circling the Wagons

**Chapter 2: Circling the Wagons**

 **Base Medical**

Jason sighed, stood, and paced again. His gaze roaming over Bravo, a deep sense of guilt settled in his stomach for the hundredth time since he received word about Adam's death. _If only I had been there, this never would have happened. My boys would all be healthy and uninjured, and Adam would still be alive._ Hearing a growl from across the room, Jason's gaze landed on Trent.

"What's eating at you?" Jason lowered to the table in front of Trent, peering at his team medic, willing him to talk.

"Spenser."

"What about him?"

"He wouldn't have collapsed unless something was wrong." Trent peered up at Jason. "I don't know. I checked him out after he was shot. He was hurting but good to go. Finished the mission. Figured he was fine or he would have told me."

"But now you're not so sure."

"What if I missed something? I should have made him see the doc at the embassy."

The door opening drew Bravo's attention. Jason stood, clapped Trent on the shoulder, and turned to the man. "How is he, Doc?"

"Although the bullet didn't penetrate, Spenser suffered severe trauma to his chest from the force of the impact. We have performed x-rays and CT scans to learn the extent. We have found several cracked ribs as well as contusions to his sternum, lungs, and heart. How he made it home before passing out … well, it's a miracle really. He is also fighting a low-grade infection from the wound in his arm."

"So, what does this mean?" Ray's brows furrowed.

"It means we are admitting him and keeping him on oxygen for at least a couple of days as well as putting him on a course of antibiotics. His body took quite a beating and needs rest to heal, and we need to ensure no further complications will arise."

Trent dropped back to his chair and lowered his head to his hands. He heard the doctor and Jason speaking for a bit longer, but the weight of Clay's injuries weighed heavily on him. _I should have insisted on checking him over, if not at the embassy, at least on the plane. He passed out because I didn't do my job._

"This isn't on you, Trent." Brock lowered to the chair beside Trent. "Kid should've talked to us."

"Recognizing the depth of his shock when Adam died, I should have made sure at least the medics on scene checked him." Trent met Brock's gaze head-on. "First a round to the chest, the force of the blast probably did more damage, then took a bullet through the arm." Trent gazed at the far wall and let out a long breath. "It's my job to make sure the team is in good medical condition … and I failed."

"Not only your job." Ray dropped to the table in front of Brock and Trent. "We are all trained medics. Any one of us could have followed up with the kid. But we were all fighting to get our heads on straight after this mission."

"This is not any of your guys' fault. The mission went to hell in a handbasket, and you all did your best, including going on after you lost Adam. Not all teams could or would do that. You proved you're the best of the best. But even as the top operators, we are all human." Jason gazed at his team, noting the play of emotions on each man's face. "Now, we have permission to visit Clay. Who is coming with me?"

Trent nodded, hearing Jason's words and recognizing he needed to let this go. "Right behind you."

"Kid needs us." Sonny nodded once, already headed for the door.

"I'm going to call Megan. Have her bring Stella up here. She can take Cerb home when she leaves." Brock stood and retrieved his cell. _The least I can do is make sure Clay has Stella by his side._

"I'll call Naima and give her an update." Ray hit dial on his cell. "We'll be right behind you."

Jason nodded before following Trent and Sonny out the door.

 **Clay's Apartment**

Startled when a knock sounded on the front door, fear gripped Stella and a shudder ran from head to toe. _Please, God, don't let it be …_

Megan knocked again, "Stella? It's Meg. Are you home?"

Relief surged through Stella as she quickly unlocked the door and swung it wide.

Noting the fading terror on Stella's face, Meg drew the young woman into a tight hug. All the news stations were running with news of Adam's death and she, Stella, and Naima were waiting for their men to return home. To ensure all were well. When Brock called, she collapsed into the sofa, beyond relieved her husband was home and safe. But then he shared the news of Spenser's injuries and requested she bring Stella to the base hospital.

"I'm sorry. I thought …" Stella stammered as she gestured for Meg to come in.

"I know. They're home … all of them."

"Oh thank God!"

"Stella, Clay's been hurt." Meg guided Stella to the chair when her face went white.

"No." Stella's breathing quickened at the news.

"He's okay. Brock called and asked me to bring you up to the base hospital so you can be with Clay. He took a round to his body armor and is badly bruised.

"But he's okay? He's going to be alright?"

"Yes. They are keeping him admitted for a couple of days for observation, but he's going to be just fine."

"Let me grab my purse." Stella went to the bedroom to slip shoes on and grab her bag. She paused in front of the dresser and wiped her eyes. _You can do this. Pull it together. He lost Adam and is hurt. He needs you to be strong for him._ Nodding once to herself she sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Let's go."

 **Base Hospital**

Jason leaned against the wall beside Clay's bed, arms crossed over his chest. The dark bruising covering most of Clay's torso a stark reminder he should have been on the mission with the boys instead of at home twiddling his thumbs. Ever since the news channels began running reports of the situation in Mumbai, Jason worried for the guys, their safety, questioning whether or not standing down was the right decision. Peering at his battered body did nothing to dispel the guilt.

Trent sat in the chair beside the bed. Elbows on his knees, and face in his hands. He felt solely responsible for the extent of Clay's injuries. The sense of guilt for not checking in on their youngest team member slowly eating away at him. Flashes of Clay laying unmoving on the ground, and Adam's charred body, played on a constant loop. _If only I had done more._

Sitting on one end of the small sofa in Clay's room, Ray ran through the mission over and over in his mind. Searching for ways they could have been better, faster. He understood they all did the best they could, but still, Adam died and Clay returned home injured. _How can we be the best when we don't all return home safely?_

Staring at the muted television, Sonny's mind wandered. The fear which gripped him when Clay went down still at the forefront of his mind. Sure, he and the kid had their differences, fought like brothers, but that's exactly what they were … brothers. Then after the explosion, he had gone numb. Wishing only for payback. _If only the success of our mission hadn't come at such a high price._

Brock stood with his back against the wall by the door, one foot on the wall behind him, hands buried in his pockets, and his head hung low. His body ached from the tension of the last, well, since Alana's death. Bravo had been put through the wringer, and it didn't appear as though they were going to catch a break any time soon. Thankfully, though, he was married to a wonderful woman who always knew when he simply needed her presence. Her arms wrapped around him always helped him find his center and be there for his team. A slight movement from the bed caught his attention and he pushed from the wall to stand closer to Clay.

Clay clawed his way from the darkness where images of Adam being thrown from the man wearing the S-vest assaulted him. The replay of his mentor's body engulfed in flames proved to be more than he could handle, he needed to escape. The persistent beeping of a nearby monitor proved to be the first sound to filter in. _I'm in a hospital? Why?_

The next inhale answered his question. The tightness in his chest, and the pain which accompanied the breath reminded him of the round he took to the vest, and the increase in pain when the s-vest detonated. He groaned and forced his eyes open, wishing to dispel the images. Brock's face greeted him.

"Hey, Kid. Good to see you awake again." Brock breathed a sigh of relief as Clay's eyes opened.

The rest of Bravo gathered around.

"Scared us there, Spenser." Ray inhaled a cleansing breath, some of the weight on his shoulders falling away upon Clay waking.

"Don't do that to us again, Kid. Ray's old ticker can't handle it," Sonny quipped from the other side of the bed.

Ray eyed Sonny and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Clay. Should have checked you over better before we left Mumbai. I knew you were in pain and should have done more." Trent lay a hand on Clay's shoulder.

"How you feeling, Clay?" Jason's gentle words drew Clay's gaze.

Closing his eyes, Clay tried to swallow but the dryness in his throat made it impossible. When Adam's face flashed before him he quickly opened his eyes.

"Here." Jason held a cup of water with a straw for Clay. "Small sips."

Clay accepted the water and sighed. "How long?"

Jason waited for Clay to drink his fill before replacing the cup on the bedside table. "Only a couple hours."

A long silence stretched out.

"I'm sorry." Clay swallowed the emotion which threatened to spill over.

"For what?" Jason's brows furrowed.

"For Adam." This time his eyes closed and a single tear escaped. "I was the weakest link, slowed us down, got him killed."

Jason swallowed hard. His own guilt for Adam being there in his stead keeping him from speaking.

"You didn't slow us down. The hostiles did." Ray straightened his shoulders, understanding Jason couldn't help as he wasn't there. "They are the reason we were there in the first place, the reason you took a round to your armor, and the cause of Adam's death. None of what transpired was your fault."

"But if I …"

"You can't live in the land of what if." Brock cut Clay off mid-sentence. "We could play that game all day long. What if we hadn't encountered the sniper? What if you hadn't been shot? What if we did move faster? What if Adam had three more bullets in his clip? What if he hadn't moved to the back to reload? What if he hadn't spotted the s-vest? What if the bomber got closer before it detonated?

"Let me tell you the answer to at least one of those. If it hadn't been Adam, it would have been you, or all of us. You were the next closest to that bomber. You would have borne the brunt of that explosion. Even if we all walked away you would be dealing with a hell of a lot more injuries than just extensive bruising." Brock moved forward and grasped Clay's hand in his. "Let me tell you, brother. As hard as it is losing Adam, I am relieved you are still with us. You're our brother too. You matter just as much as Adam, or Jason, or any of the rest of us."

"Damn straight." Sonny sniffed.

"But his family …"

"Knows he died a hero, protecting his brothers." Jason swallowed hard as all eyes shifted to him.

Brock's cell buzzed in his pocket. A quick glance at the screen showed him Meg, Stella, and Naima were on their way up.

"We don't get to pick and chose who goes down when. If I could I'd have taken the round which found you." Ray pointed to Clay. "But that one wasn't meant for me. I can't tell you why just like I can't tell you why it was Adam's time to go. But what I can tell you is that he wouldn't want us wallowing around in our grief. He would want us to carry on, to continue the work he dedicated his life to. Don't let his loss break you. Let it make you stronger, like when Brian died."

Keeping Ray's gaze Clay nodded slowly. His brother's surrounding him giving him the strength needed to look at the mission for a different perspective, recognizing Adam's death wasn't his fault. But that didn't make the pain go away.

"I called Meg, asked her to bring Stella up here. They're on their way up now." Brock allowed a small smile. "Let her in, Clay. Tell her what you can, let her see your pain, lean on her for strength. She will help pull you through this."

A light rap sounded on the door and Ray and Brock slipped out.

Stella hugged herself tightly as Meg knocked on Clay's door. When Ray and Brock exited, she searched their eyes for understanding.

"Stella, he's going to be fine." Ray placed his hands on her shoulders and met her gaze head-on.

"What happened?"

"He took a round to his body armor. Bruised him pretty bad. He also took a shot to his arm, a through and through. Developed a minor fever which they are treating. Mostly, though, he's in pain from losing Adam. He needs you. Just listen to him when he wants to talk, hold him if he wants to cry."

Stella nodded and drew in a deep breath, determined to not let her own emotions get the best of her when Clay needed her to be strong.

"Go on in. We'll be back later to check on you two."

"He's really okay?"

"Bruised and tired, but he's going to heal up in no time." Brock grasped her arm. "He's strong. He'll pull through."

Stella turned to the door as the rest of the guys, minus Jason, filed out. Before entering she turned back to the men. "Thank you, for bringing him home. For being there for him." Drawing in a shaky breath she entered Clay's room.

"Stella." Jason greeted her with a hug, not missing the slight wince when she noted the bruising on Clay's chest.

"Jason, thanks for staying with him." Stella returned the hug before moving to Clay's side.

"We'll leave you two alone for now, but we will be stopping by later to check on you." Jason grasped Clay's shoulder. "Go easy on yourself kid. This wasn't your fault any more than it was mine. I know it's hard to get past that, but it's the truth."

Striding from the room, closing the door softly behind him, Jason's heart ached. The sight of Clay melting into Stella's welcoming arms reminded him of how much he missed Alana. Her embrace would have done wonders for him today when he struggled to find a way to help the boys.

"He'll be alright." Jason declared to the gathered group. "You all should go home, rest. It's going to be a long few days and you're already exhausted."

Understanding Jason's words to be true, Brock nodded. His arm tightened around Meg and he drew in a deep breath. "I'm going to take Cerberus home. Someone call if anything changes."

"I'm taking Ray home too. You all are dead on your feet and need rest." Naima agreed with Jason, her husband appeared to be about to fall over himself.

"Trent, you coming over?" Jason eyed the man.

"Nah, he's crashing at my place." Sonny declared.

"I'll bring a case of beer." Trent turned towards the elevator.

When only Naima, Ray, and Jason stood outside Clay's room, Ray peered at his best friend. "You alright?"

"No. But I will be."

Ray nodded, drew Jason into a tight hug, clapped him on the back, then turned to his wife. Taking Naima's hand Ray headed for home.

Jason settled into a chair outside Clay's room. He would stick around for a while and make sure the Kid or Stella didn't need him. Later he would check in with Blackburn, make sure Bravo was off rotation long enough for Adam's funeral, for Clay to heal, and for all of them to get their heads on straight. Closing his eyes, Jason forced his mind to fond memories of Alana to drown out the gut-wrenching sobs coming from inside Clay's room.

* * *

Stella climbed into Clay's bed and allowed him to curl up in her lap. She didn't miss the hiss of pain his movements caused. The sound tugged at her heart. Wrapping her arms around him as much as possible, she rubbed his back with one hand and massaged his scalp with the other. Both actions proved to calm him in the past and she hoped it would be of some comfort this time as well.

Clay poured his heart out to Stella. Voicing for the first time the terror which coursed through him when he woke after being shot, the pain which engulfed his body. He spoke of losing Adam. Sharing his thoughts that if he hadn't been injured, Adam would be alive. All the while, Stella simply held him.

When he broke down in tears, she said not a word. Stella remained a rock in his sea of emotional and physical pain. She was his lifeline, his safe harbor. In her embrace, he let loose all the pent-up emotions within him and cried himself to sleep.

 **Ray's Home**

Ray gripped Naima's hand tightly as they strode inside their home, thankful the kids were with their grandparents for the week. The entire ride home Naima allowed him to remain lost in his own thoughts. Providing silent support when he needed it most.

Upon entering their home, Naima guided him to their bedroom where she helped him out of his clothes and into bed. She settled against the headboard and guided him to sit in front of her. As she massaged his tense back, neck, and shoulders she listened.

Ray opened up about his feeling of guilt. Over Clay being shot. Adam being killed. Clay being injured a second time. And being unable to help the guys because he felt as though he was drowning in his own grief.

Naima guided Ray to his pillow and snuggled in next to him. Drawing the blankets over them she closed her eyes and suppressed a sigh when Ray's arm wrapped around her. When the news reports from Mumbai began playing on every news station she paced with worry. Concerned her husband would come home to her injured, or maybe not at all.

When he began to cry, she snuggled closer, held him tighter. He may be a member of the best top tier SEAL Team, but her Ray was still human.

 **Sonny's Home**

Trent set the cold six-pack on the coffee table, dropped to the couch, and opened one.

"Whadya say we turn the game on?" Sonny snagged a beer and dropped into his recliner.

"Sounds good."

When the television came on both men stared at the screen, neither paying much attention to what was going on. Each became lost in their own thoughts. Replaying parts of the mission where they could have done things differently. Both reaching the same conclusion, no matter what scenario they considered, one of them came home in a box.

The realization did little to comfort them, nor did the beer. The emotions would simply take time to process, just as they did when Nate died.

 _Nothing about our job is easy. But, at least I have brothers by my side._ Sonny sighed, downed his beer, and popped open another one. His attention finally fixating on the game to drown out the memories of the mission from Hell.

 **Brock's Home**

Brock climbed out of his truck and opened the back door for Cerberus to climb down. Meg parked in the driveway next to him, climbed out, and grasped his hand as they strode to the backyard to allow Cerb to do his business.

The canine swiftly took care of his basic needs, then returned to Brock on the back porch, nudging his nose under his master's hand. He made a contented sound as Brock rubbed his head behind his ears.

"Come inside." Meg's arm around Brock's waist pulled him towards the back door.

Once inside, Brock kicked off his shoes and settled into the center of the couch. Meg settled into his side on his left and Cerb climbed up on his right. His arm went around his wife's shoulders and she grasped his hand. Cerberus lay his head in his master's lap and gazed up at him. Brock lay his hand on Cerbs neck and played with his ears.

"I'm glad you're home." Meg squeezed Brock's hand. She still clearly remembered the terror which coursed through her when the news reported a SEAL had been killed in Mumbai. Before they announced it was Adam her phone rang. Naima calling to see if she had heard anything. Meg felt guilty for the relief which surged through her when they learned it was Adam. Her husband returned home safe while another's had not.

Brock's arm around Meg tightened, and he buried his nose in her hair. This mission rocked Bravo team to the core and he wondered if they would come back from Adam's loss. Recognizing they would, as they had when Nate died, Brock gave in. Swallowing hard, the tears which he managed to keep at bay finally overflowed and he mourned the loss of another brother in arms.

 **Seaver Home**

Clay gingerly climbed from the car and stifled a groan. Pausing to draw in air Clay spotted the rest of Bravo emerging from their own vehicles. Jason strode for him, clasping his shoulder and eyeing him carefully. Jason nodded twice, squeezed once, then released him and strode for the front door. Clay fell in with Stella by his side, the rest of Bravo following Jason's lead.

When Adam's wife, Victoria, opened the door, Clay swallowed the lump of emotion stuck in his throat. The ever-present guilt rising to the surface.

A sad smile ghosted over Victoria's lips at the sight of Bravo team. Opening the door wider she motioned for them to come in. She wrapped each man in a tight embrace. Her husband died saving the men he served with, these men who now stood before her, their grief still evident in their eyes.

Three days had passed since they returned home. Jason spoke with her daily, sharing the guys wanted to come by but were waiting for Spenser to be released from the hospital. This almost imperceptible sharp intake of breath followed by a muffled hiss when she hugged him broadcasting he was still in pain.

When they all settled around the living room, Clay peered at Victoria, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Stella's hand in his reminded him he was not alone. "Um … I know that nothing I can say will bring Adam back. But I want you to know he died a hero." Clay halted a moment as tears streamed down Victoria's face. "I, um … I was just a few feet away from Adam when …"

Jason rose and stood beside Clay, clasping his shoulder in a show of support.

Clay blew out a breath. "He saved my life, all our lives, that day. If it weren't for him … Well, I wouldn't be here right now."

Victoria watched the young SEAL, remembering some of the stories Adam shared when Spenser went through Green Team with him. Several nights he came home to her and expressed how much of himself he saw in Clay. Her heart went out to him. Rising from her chair she knelt in front of Clay and took his hands in hers.

"Clay, I am sorry you were hurt. Adam spoke highly of you, all of you. He was honored to be able to roll out with the best of the best. Adam loved serving his country, fighting alongside his brothers. As hard as losing him is, I know he wouldn't have wanted to go out any other way. Saving just one life would have been enough for Adam. Knowing all of you came home because of his actions … Thank you, for making sure Adam came home to me." Victoria drew in a shuddering breath, then drew Clay into a hug. When she released him she moved on, embracing each member of Bravo, thanking them for returning Adam to her.

The group sat around the room and over the next several hours shared memories of Adam. Each person felt Adam's loss to some degree, but by the end of the day, the grief which maintained a tight grip on the men began to ebb away.

Bravo team would never forget Adam Seaver. Instead, they would allow his legacy to steady their resolve and guide their every deed.

* * *

 **AN: Thanks for coming back for the second and last chapter of this fic. Keep an eye out, I see another fic coming soon (Cause let's face it. Containment is just begging for some whump!)**

 **My new novel is now available! Just go to Amazon and search "Martha Pruett" or "Clubs: Heart of a Hero" and you'll find it.**

 **Clubs: Heart Of A Hero (Book 1 in the Slater's Deck Series)**

How far will heroes go to protect the ones they love? Drew Slater, a dedicated Marine, husband, and father must endure constant separation from his family to keep them safe. For three years, he and his Special Forces unit have endeavored to locate and stop the efforts of those who threaten his family.

Roxy Carter-Slater, Baltimore SWAT officer, devoted wife, and mother wants nothing more than her husband to return home to her and their daughter, Ava. She understands the sacrifices all three are making to safeguard Ava, but her heart still yearns for them to be together.

When the life of an innocent is at stake, Drew, Roxy, and their teams must make difficult choices in the face of the enemy. Will one of them be called to make the ultimate hero's sacrifice for a child? Will Drew find the peace he so desperately seeks?


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